Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
