Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
