He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I have post one night stand depression
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
