I am in a vortex of obligation.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
