You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
