omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Dignity is for republicans.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
