i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
