Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
