I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
