I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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