Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
And then my night got REAL pukey
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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