i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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