What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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