dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
