i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize