she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
That's how pantless uber rides happen
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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