I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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