Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
