I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
