I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
