u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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