Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
