im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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