It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
