Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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