so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
