Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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