I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
