I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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