pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
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