Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
