boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
