I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
