no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
