Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
