suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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