Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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