When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
