is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
