I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
you had me at cake vodka
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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