We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
