I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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