If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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