im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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