ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize