You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
