rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I love you. Go after that dick
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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