One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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