So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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