I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
