I can text with my tongue
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
