Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
