I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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