Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
