You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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