after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
