Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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