Swine flu. Run for my life!
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
