totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
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