I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize