yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
