I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
