So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
