i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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