I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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